David makes me laugh. Just when I am tempted to feel “ho hum” about some mundane routine, he starts spinning tales and making light of everyday situations. For instance, my diet is limited by many food allergies. And so, while I try not to complain, I do get tempted to view the ever-familiar meal of rice and chicken as dull and repetitious… until David invites me into the world of imagination where I am a villanous chicken eater. Every place that I go… every state, every country of the world that I visit, is only to feed my ravenous hunger for ALL THE CHICKENS OF THE WORLD. I seem very innocent as I listen politely to conversation, until I learn that the stranger, friend, or foe is a chicken farmer. My eyes glint and my salivary glands kick into over-drive. “Chickens?” I think to myself. “Gotta get more chickens!”
Seriously though, David and I have been laughing more and more together… delighting in this new adventure called marriage. Tonight, I am reminded that even when the chicken dinner isn’t quite as tasty as usual, and I’m feeling a little blue about missing dancing because my silly body can’t quite keep up at the moment… tonight, I am reminded again, just how much I am loved by my husband, who supports me, and accepts me, and humors me. Tonight, I revisited the book “Understanding the One You Love,” by Steve Stephens. A funny story about this little book: I gave it to David before I left for Japan last year, and he wrote me a very confused letter that asked why I had marked in the ‘What ways are we different?’ page that he was extrovert and I introvert, among other characteristics that were quite opposite of who he is. In a phone call across the “Big Blue,” as Japan calls the Pacific, I was in hysterics as he was in utter relief to find out that the book had belonged to a friend who had filled out some of the book with her answers!
Anyways!! Steve Stephens writes: “An initial vow began your marriage. The following fifty promises can strengthen your marriage.
- Start each day with a kiss.
- Wear your wedding rings at all times.
- Date once a week.
- Accept differences.
- Be polite.
- Be gentle.
- Give gifts.
- Smile often.
- Touch.
- Talk about dreams.
- Choose a song that can be “your song.”
- Give back rubs.
- Laugh together.
- Send a card for no reason.
- Do what they want before they ask.
- Listen.
- Encourage.
- Do it their way.
- Know their needs.
- Fix their favorite breakfast.
- Compliment them twice a day.
- Call them.
- Slow down.
- Hold hands.
- Cuddle.
- Ask their opinion.
- Show respect.
- Welcome them home.
- Look your best for them.
- Wink at them.
- Celebrate birthdays in a big way.
- Apologize.
- Forgive.
- Set up a romantic getaway.
- Ask, “What can I do to make you happier?”
- Be positive.
- Be kind.
- Be vulnerable.
- Respond quickly to their requests.
- Talk about your love.
- Reminisce about your favorite times together.
- Treat their friends and relatives with courtesy.
- Send flowers every Valentine’s Day and anniversary.
- Admit when you are wrong.
- Be sensitive to their sexual desires.
- Pray for them daily.
- Watch sunsets together.
- Say “I love you” frequently.
- End each day with a hug.
- Seek outside help when you need it.
These fifty promises demonstrate who you are. They move love from a feeling which comes and goes like rain in the springtime, to a commitment, which steers steady on its course.”
Tonight, as I write these thoughts, David has kindly brought me some leftover rice and chicken from supper. Somehow it tastes better than I remembered.