David and Jennilyn

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Whenever I have a passenger in my car, I always try to open the car door for them as an act of kindness. While I was single and I opened the door for a girl, the gesture was also a test of what the gal did after sitting in my car.

I remembered opening my car door for Jennilyn the first time and she thanked me as she entered. As I approached my door, she reached over and reciprocated by opening my door for me.

Though it is a very simple act, it is that type of kindness I hope to never take for granted.

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Mark Twain

One couple Jennilyn and I admire, and I have the honor of working for, is Dave and Chris Vernier. While their official titles are CEO and CFO, they are so much more to their company and employees. I’ve once heard someone describe that they love everyone as a friend, and they truly do.

The flexible schedule, generous health benefits, and care for employees has made it possible for Jennilyn to stay at home when we first married because her health was fragile. I’m extremely thankful that we are able to continue as a single-income family so that Jennilyn can be at home with our lovely daughters.

If I were to become a leader of a company, I would want to be like Dave Vernier and obviously have Jennilyn as my co-founder like Christine. Dave and Chris never had any children—but, each of their employees is loved like family by them.

We have been re-reading 20 Rules and Tools for a Great Marriage and were reminded of the rule to go to bed together. This is a difficult one because I need less sleep to function than Jenni, so I like to stay up late and get up early.

Making the compromise has been very beneficial to our marriage so that we remain close. We are able to end the day together, occasionally plan the next day while I brush my teeth for five minutes, and share a precious (more precious now with kids) moment just for ourselves.

From the beginning of our relationship, we’ve both enjoyed learning from others what makes a marriage great. It is important to both of us that, not only do we avoid the alarming statistic of divorces, but cultivate a relationship that grows stronger with time.

There have been many books we’ve harvested wisdom, ideas, and laughter from. Some of our favorites are:

• The Holy Bible: God’s design for marriage is beautiful, strong, powerful, and amazing.
• The Five Love Languages: Insights on how to love someone in a way that communicates love. We’re thankful that both our primary love languages are quality time.
• Love & Respect: Most husbands know that their wives love them, but they need something just as much—respect. Without both these elements, a couple can get on a crazy cycle where the husband doesn’t feel respected, so he does not love, and the wife does not respect the husband because she does not feel loved.
• Every Woman’s Desire: A man’s guide to understanding biblical authority in a husband/wife relationship as well as keeping the purity of the husband’s heart.
• Your Money Counts: Money is often a source of marital problems, so we made a commitment to understand how to handle finances God’s way to help us make money a tool in our marriage rather than a stumbling block.

By no means are we experts or perfect in our marriage (every aspect is a work in progress), but these books have saved us from unnecessary heartaches and arguments as well as giving us tools to overcome obstacles and challenges together.