Dear David,
Here’s a conglomerate of thoughts as we celebrate our 10 year anniversary. They aren’t smoothed out, maybe a little jumbled, but fun to think about.
“What first brought us together?”
Dance, friendship, attraction. Our close friends were a part of all of that too! God is good, and has good plans for your life. Seek Him first and all else will be added to you.
I hate running. I still hate running after running a 5K race this last Saturday. Why did I do it?
Dancing before, during, and continuing in our courtship, we have a number of songs that we consider “our songs.” The song was either a great dance together or something that spoke to us.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
Whenever I have a passenger in my car, I always try to open the car door for them as an act of kindness. While I was single and I opened the door for a girl, the gesture was also a test of what the gal did after sitting in my car.
I remembered opening my car door for Jennilyn the first time and she thanked me as she entered. As I approached my door, she reached over and reciprocated by opening my door for me.
Though it is a very simple act, it is that type of kindness I hope to never take for granted.
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Mark Twain
One couple Jennilyn and I admire, and I have the honor of working for, is Dave and Chris Vernier. While their official titles are CEO and CFO, they are so much more to their company and employees. I’ve once heard someone describe that they love everyone as a friend, and they truly do.
The flexible schedule, generous health benefits, and care for employees has made it possible for Jennilyn to stay at home when we first married because her health was fragile. I’m extremely thankful that we are able to continue as a single-income family so that Jennilyn can be at home with our lovely daughters.
If I were to become a leader of a company, I would want to be like Dave Vernier and obviously have Jennilyn as my co-founder like Christine. Dave and Chris never had any children—but, each of their employees is loved like family by them.
We have been re-reading 20 Rules and Tools for a Great Marriage and were reminded of the rule to go to bed together. This is a difficult one because I need less sleep to function than Jenni, so I like to stay up late and get up early.
Making the compromise has been very beneficial to our marriage so that we remain close. We are able to end the day together, occasionally plan the next day while I brush my teeth for five minutes, and share a precious (more precious now with kids) moment just for ourselves.
From the beginning of our relationship, we’ve both enjoyed learning from others what makes a marriage great. It is important to both of us that, not only do we avoid the alarming statistic of divorces, but cultivate a relationship that grows stronger with time.
There have been many books we’ve harvested wisdom, ideas, and laughter from. Some of our favorites are:
By no means are we experts or perfect in our marriage (every aspect is a work in progress), but these books have saved us from unnecessary heartaches and arguments as well as giving us tools to overcome obstacles and challenges together.
We had a mini-vacation this weekend to go out dancing. Jenni’s parents were gracious enough to house us so that our daughters can sleep while we went to late night dancing—two nights in a row. It was so nice to see friends out on the dance floor and reminisce about our dating and dancing days.
Portland Dance Festival was Jenni and my kick-off dance that started our attraction. We had a great night of dancing together which ended with a dip and I found myself staring into her eyes. It was magic.
When Jenni and I returned from test driving a black minivan earlier this week, Kadie requested that our next vehicle be colored red. I told her that we don’t get a choice in the color since we were buying an used minivan. Funny how and when God gives good gifts to little ones, even something as small as color because now we own a red 2010 Kia Sedona.
We’re excited to be able to have passengers other than just our kids. And now we’ll have room for all the stuff for three little kids, a mom who carries along her own toaster oven for homemade, gluten-soy-dairy-and-egg-free waffles, and a dad lugging camera gear, computers, and gadgets.
When I married Jennilyn, I was also blessed to inherit a large family to love me. It has been important to us that we stayed near and involved with our parents, siblings, and extended families. Having their support gives us strength, hope, and courage for any challenge we face.